A Reason to Be Alone (The Camdyn Series Book 2) Read online

  “Room 301. There’s no one in there, so I told him he could watch the game.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, walking toward the room and wondering what Cole would think of her description of him. The door was partly closed, so I pushed it open gingerly and peeked around the corner. Cole was sitting on a big beige chair, television on across the room, fast asleep. I gently touched his face and waited as his eyes slowly opened.

  “Oh, hey,” he muttered as he raised himself up.

  “I knew you were tired,” I told him as he pulled off his cap and rubbed the back of his hand across his eyes.

  “I’m alright,” he insisted. “Everything okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”

  “Yeah,” I said with a forced smile, and then brushed away a new tear that started to slide down my cheek. “It was just so horrible, but wonderful, and so disgusting…” I laughed then, and he reached out to take my hand. “I don’t know if I can do that, Cole.”

  “The Camdyn Taylor I know can do anything,” he said carefully, rising to stand and stretching his legs.

  “How did you get this special treatment, anyway?” I asked, pretending to be jealous. He looked at me guiltily and shrugged.

  “That nurse wouldn’t leave me alone – she kept coming out to the waiting room to give me updates. Finally, I just asked her if there was somewhere I could watch the game. After she set me up in here, she made it a point to tell me she got off work at five.”

  “Of all the nerve!” I stated. “And you, flirting with some nurse…”

  “I was not flirting with any nurse!” he told me emphatically. “How could I, when no one on earth compares to you?” He looked at me with those deep brown eyes, and even though I knew we were both joking around, his words still melted me.

  “Wow, you are good,” I teased as I glanced over at the television. “Well, at least tell me who won the game.” He looked at me sheepishly and gave me a smirk as he draped his arm around my shoulders.

  “I have no idea,” he admitted.

  Chapter Five

  Cole and I waited about half an hour to give Trina and Charlie time with the baby before we returned to the room. When I finally knocked on the door, Charlie opened it with a big smile on his face. Trina was carefully cradling the little bundle in her arms, and I had never seen her so happy, or quite so drowsy.

  “Do you want to hold him, Aunt Camdyn?” Trina asked. I hesitated a second before I reached out. I had rarely held babies, and definitely never one quite this new. When Trina placed him in my arms, I felt as though I would break him to pieces.

  “Hello, Little Peanut,” I whispered. He was still a little strange looking, all red with his eyes trying to adjust to the light, but I knew instantly that I would love those chubby little cheeks forever. “He’s perfect, Trina.”

  “He is a handsome little guy,” Cole stated as he looked over my shoulder. “Does he have a name?”

  “Cooper David,” Trina stated, and my eyes immediately filled with tears at the sound of my dad’s name – David. “Charlie was determined to give him some horrible baseball name. Do you know what he wanted to name him, Camdyn? Catcher.” I smiled at Cole over my shoulder, enjoying our private joke about the baseball names.

  “Yes, well, Trina was insistent about no baseball names, so I relented,” Charlie stated. I looked at him quizzically but his eyes pleaded with me to remain quiet, so I did.

  “Cooper David, I am so going to spoil you,” I told that round little face. I gazed down at him intently and touched his miniature fingers, rubbing my own against his tiny soft fingernails.

  “Just be careful, Cammie,” Trina warned. “You spoil my kid, I will spoil yours.” I felt Cole’s hand on my shoulder, and for a second I thought ahead to a day when this might be us; when I might be holding Cole’s son in my arms. I turned then and looked up into his face, holding out the baby.

  “Uncle Cole?” I asked, as he carefully slid the little guy from my arms. The baby looked even smaller cradled against Cole, but he looked so protective, so gentle as he stared into Cooper’s face. I felt the hot prick of tears sting my eyes again, and I told myself to quit being so emotional.

  “Camdyn, you’ve cried more than me,” Trina giggled, reading my expression. I brushed away one droplet that had escaped my eye and laughed along with her.

  “I know,” I told her, “but what do you expect from me? I’m always a mess, remember?”

  “Always a mess…” Trina shook her head. “Cole won’t know you’re teasing.”

  “Oh, I know she’s a mess,” Cole stated, still looking at the baby. “She’s a beautiful mess, though, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “You don’t care if I’m a mess, do you, Cooper?” I asked the baby, running my finger across his warm, smooth cheek and letting out a contented sigh.

  Charlie pulled out his camera and started taking pictures of the little guy. When he came too close to me, I protested, mainly because I knew what I must look like, since I had been in the truck half the night and was wearing the Poison t-shirt. I didn’t win, though – it’s hard to argue with a new dad who wants to take pictures of his baby.

  Afterwards, Cole suggested the two of us grab some dinner. The thought of food suddenly sent my stomach into fits, and I realized that I had not eaten lunch. We rode in the truck silently, both lost in our own thoughts, until he finally settled on a restaurant. I glanced in his rear view mirror to check my reflection and cringed, although he assured me again that I looked fine. When we were seated at our table, I couldn’t resist teasing him a little.

  “You know, your nurse friend is probably getting off work about now.”

  “Jealous much?” he asked with a smirk. “Anyway, maybe she was just being nice.”

  “Trust me, she wasn’t,” I laughed. “You should have heard the way she described you to me, ‘The hot guy with the incredible smile.’”

  “Wow, and you didn’t punch her in the face?” he chuckled. I grinned as I glanced down at my menu.

  “No, that didn’t cross my mind. I thought her description was pretty accurate. If I was jealous, though, would it be justified?” I eyed him suspiciously over my menu while his face broke out in a grin.

  “Not at all,” he stated as his brown eyes rested intently on mine, “but it might be kind of cute, seeing you all jealous.”

  “In that case, I am insanely jealous. Insanely.”

  We both laughed before the waitress came over and took our order, and then I attacked the bread she had set in front of us like a starving person. Our food came quickly, and we didn’t talk much until we were both finished eating.

  “So I guess Charlie didn’t win about the baseball name, after all,” Cole broke the silence, leaning his elbows on the table.

  “Oh, he did, somehow,” I remarked, folding my arms across my chest. “I could see the guilty look on his face.”

  I sat there for a minute pondering while Cole muttered that he couldn’t think of any Coopers, and then suddenly it dawned on me, like the sun emerging from behind the clouds.

  “It’s the hall of fame,” I stated, shaking my head. “I only remember because Charlie dragged me there the summer after my freshman year at college. Pretty sneaky.”

  “Yeah, Cooperstown,” Cole agreed. “That is pretty slick. Point for Charlie.”

  We walked out into the sunshine, and as we neared the truck, Cole leaned back against the passenger door and closed his eyes. I reached out and grabbed his t-shirt around his abdomen, and he pulled me against him with one arm. Resting my head against his chest, I breathed in his scent and relaxed against him.

  “Still tired?” He took a deep breath and I felt the rise and fall of his chest against my cheek.

  “Yeah,” he breathed, holding me a little closer as I traced a path down his arm with the tip of my finger.

  “Maybe we should get on the road, then,” I suggested.

  “No, I’m too tired to drive back tonight.”

  “Well,
I can drive,” I told him. “I’m not a delicate little flower, you know.”

  “Yeah, my head knows that,” he chuckled, “but my heart’s in disagreement. Besides, Charlie said we could crash at his place tonight.”

  “Oh?” I asked, surprised. “What else did Charlie say?”

  “That he’s never seen you so happy,” Cole offered. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I had a feeling he was smiling.

  “Well, he’s right about that,” I agreed. He tilted my head up and brought his lips down to meet mine, kissing me so deeply I could feel the blood rush through my entire body. When we parted, I felt a little breathless, and he turned and opened my door without saying a word.

  Driving back to the hospital, neither one of us said much, but instead stole glances at one another and exchanged a couple of smiles. I was thinking about staying at Charlie’s, and hoping that Cole might kiss me again when we got out of the truck. The simple thought of it made a chill go up my spine, and I felt a little silly for daydreaming when he was sitting so close to me. When we pulled into the parking lot, he shut the truck off and sat there for a minute, staring at me as though he was deep in thought. Finally, he offered up a small smile.

  “Man, I am so crazy about you,” he stated, taking a deep breath. I decided that, yes, he would definitely be kissing me again soon, and the thought excited me. “I was just thinking, maybe you should offer to stay here with Trina tonight so Charlie can get some rest.”

  And…suddenly the air is shoved out of my sails. Do what?

  Cole must have seen the puzzled look on my face, because he kept talking.

  “It would probably be good for him to get some sleep, have a shower, you know… Then he would be able to help Trina better when they bring the baby home.”

  He had totally stunned me to silence. I didn’t want to even be in a disgusting, germ-filled hospital, much less sleep in one for no reason. As if on cue my body suddenly started to feel run down and exhausted, and I decided that I might have caught some terrible disease already. Yes, I probably had. Besides, I just wanted to have Cole to myself for a while.

  “Camdyn, it’s just…” he began, tapping nervously on the steering wheel. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to be in Charlie’s house, the two of us. Alone.”

  For a split second I thought he might be joking, but he looked so sincere, I realized that couldn’t be the case.

  “I’m not following,” I whispered, trying to find my voice. “You stayed in my apartment with me, alone.”

  “That was different,” he insisted.

  “No it wasn’t different,” I argued. “It was exactly the…”

  “I didn’t know you were in love with me, Camdyn,” he blurted. I bit my lip as he took my hand and looked at me with concern. “I like to think that I could withstand temptation, but I honestly don’t trust myself.”

  I couldn’t say why the weight of what he was saying hit me so hard emotionally – maybe it had been a long day, or maybe I was still a little raw from all of the day’s activities. In any case, I felt a tear slide down my cheek, and Cole moved closer and brushed it away with his thumb.

  “I know it seems like a small thing, but… Cam, I’ve been waiting for you for a really long time. A few more weeks isn’t going to kill me.” I sniffed and put my hand over his as it rested on my cheek. When he smiled, my defenses instantly caved, and I knew in a heartbeat that I would be sleeping in that hospital room on a fold-out bed with a metal bar in the middle of my back. I grimaced as I looked into his eyes and stuck my bottom lip out a little.

  “How am I supposed to argue with that?” I sighed, smiling up into his face. “That is about the most romantic thing I have ever heard.” He leaned over and kissed me gently, and then cupped my face with both his hands.

  “I love you, Camdyn.”

  “I love you, too,” I whispered, and then I shook my head. “I must love you, if you just talked me into sleeping in a hospital.”

  I pulled my overnight bag from the truck and walked back into that hospital with his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me against him. I couldn’t help but wonder at that moment if I would ever be able to protest anything with this man, looking at me with that smile and those eyes.

  -§-

  When I informed Trina and Charlie that I wanted to stay at the hospital (yes, I said wanted, even though it was a definite lie), both of their faces registered with quick relief. I was a little bummed that neither of them protested. Forget staying at Charlie’s house, I would have even slept in the truck if it meant I wouldn’t have to sleep in the sick hotel, but it appeared I wasn’t going to be let off the hook so easily. Charlie looked like I had just lifted a prison sentence, and Trina had the appearance of someone who was excited to be taking a week-long nap.

  And Cole? Strangely enough, even after my opposition to the idea, he looked pretty proud of me. Sure, I would have preferred to be comfortable and would have even accepted the fact that Cole might be a little grouchy about it, but I supposed throwing myself on my sword and having him be proud of me would work in a pinch.

  Cooper was with the nurses being checked and washed and whatever else they do, so the room was pretty quiet. Charlie had been watching sports updates on the television, and Trina looked like she was about to drop. The boys only waited long enough for Cooper to be back with us so Charlie could tell him good night, and then they were gone. I realized with dread as Cole left the room that the truck would be gone too, and I would be completely stranded there. Not that I would be going anywhere, but it was nice to know that I could, if I wanted to.

  Even though Trina was tired to the point of slurring her words, she refused to fall asleep. We stared at little Cooper for a while, and then she tried to feed him. At last, she handed him to me and leaned back against the pillow, closing her eyes. I set him down carefully to let him sleep as well, and then I tried to fold that chair out into a bed. Eventually I attempted to sleep myself, but I wasn’t successful. I could not get comfortable on that deathtrap of a fold-out no matter what I tried, and every time I heard a machine beep or the sound of footsteps coming down the hall, my eyes flew open.

  A couple of excruciating hours later, Cooper woke with a little murmur and I popped up, moving to his side. He wrinkled up his face and kicked his legs a little, and then he began to cry softly. Trina was still sleeping, so I stared at him a moment wondering what I should do. Eventually I decided that I should see if he needed a new diaper, so I pulled back the thin blanket they had wrapped around him and looked down at his umbilical cord stump, praying that I wouldn’t hurt him somehow. I released the sides of the diaper, expecting it to be a little wet perhaps, but I was not prepared for what I saw. Whatever it was, it was black and looked like there had been an oil slick nearby.

  Oh no, something’s wrong, I thought as I backed away from Cooper. Should I call a nurse? Should I wake Trina? I can’t call a nurse and not wake Trina. What if she wakes up and the nurse is in here?

  I moved to Trina’s side and shook her softly until her eyes fluttered open.

  “Trina, I was trying to change Cooper’s diaper, and there’s something terribly wrong down there,” I started.

  “What is it?” she asked, eyes wide.

  “I can’t tell, exactly,” I began, glancing over at the baby, “but it’s black and sort of green, and…”

  Trina’s laughter cut through my own horror, and I stared at her in disbelief. How could she find this funny? It was decidedly unfunny.

  “Camdyn, that’s normal,” she explained. “It’s just the meconium – like the first bowel movement. He’s fine.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked more insistently. “It doesn’t seem normal, or fine, in my opinion.”

  I moved back to the baby only to find that, while I was talking over this strange normal with Trina, he had kicked his feet enough that he now had the sticky blackness on his heels and his legs. Realizing that the blanket was about to be tarnished as well, I scooped him up and then
brushed it aside, grabbing some wet wipes and beginning to swipe away at the mess while Trina laughed uncontrollably. As I grabbed the offensive diaper and began to pull it away from him, the cart he was in suddenly shifted on its wheels, and I fell right into the mess, plastering it against my shirt.

  “I’ve been hit!” I moaned. “Oh my gosh, Trina, it’s on me. What do I do?”

  I glanced over at Trina, but she was laughing so hard, I’m surprised she was still breathing at all. Cooper was crying, and I tried to clean him up, but I was having a hard time. After a few seconds, I felt so sorry for him, I picked him up and held him against me for a second, which was my next mistake. As I tried to gently shush him, I felt an unmistakable warmth move across my abdomen, and I knew instinctively that he had peed on me. I hurriedly set him back in the cart, staring down at the disgusting mess on my shirt, and had about two seconds of full-on panic before my common sense took over.

  Get the shirt off, I thought to myself, so I whipped it over my head and dropped it to the floor. I started in with the wet wipes again, and managed to clean him up and get a new diaper on him fairly quickly. He was still plenty upset with me, but I wrapped him up in that blanket like a sausage and carried him over to Trina. I was just handing him over so she could feed him when a nurse popped her head in the door, looking over to the bed where Trina sat laughing. The nurse’s eyes got wide, and it was only at that instant that I realized that I was standing there in my bra next to Trina and the baby.

  “I’ll come back,” the nurse said with a snicker and closed the door behind her. I tried to help Trina adjust little Cooper, but she couldn’t catch her breath.

  “Surely she didn’t think that I…”

  “Was trying to feed the baby?” Trina gasped. “Oh, Camdyn, only you!”

  Thankful that I had my overnight bag with me, I placed the soiled shirt in a plastic bag in the corner and slipped on a clean t-shirt, and then proceeded to scrub my hands until they were red. When I emerged from the bathroom, Trina had finally managed to calm herself, although the sight of me did bring on a fresh round of giggles.